Monday, July 20, 2009

Restoring Trust in Relationships Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair

How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. This article is about restoring trust in relationships. Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple. If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease. What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming? You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship. Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling. But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems. The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things. One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship. Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her. This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding. Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair. Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.

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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Relationship Quotes for Your Enjoyment

Sometimes the best way to say something is the way someone more literary than you has said it. In that vein, here are some relationship quotes of note:

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." -Oprah Winfrey

"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take." -Anthony Robbins

"Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same." -Flavia Weedn

"The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that's why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they've really done is they've shifted their relationship with time." – Caroline Myss

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." – Mark Twain

"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with" ~ Gillian Anderson

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." – Aristotle

"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." – Helen Keller

"Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found." – Winston Churchill

"It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations." – Kahlin Gibran

"To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person." – Eric Fromm

"Man is a knot into which relationships are tied." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete." ~ Keith Sweat

"Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others." ~ Stephen R. Covey

"Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made - like bread, remade all the time, made new." – Ursula LeGuin

"Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's really no fun lying to 'em anymore." -Norm from Cheers

There’s a broad collection of relationship quotes for you!

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Relationship Advice for Men Look at Evolution to Find a Mate

What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul? Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want. How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose. Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money. Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men. The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children. Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon. Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies. A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children. But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry. It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children. Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek. So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Ending a Relationship Breaking Up is Hard To Do

Does your to-do list look something like this: · Walk dog · Water plants · Break up with significant other Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do. Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window. Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.” How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt? You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them. Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together. Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion. Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs. Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back. Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time. But don’t let them make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you. Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?” That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple. However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Robbed At Gunpoint

Is there something you can learn by being robbed at gunpoint?

As TW Jackson explains in the Magic Of Making Up System

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after your initial contact...you want to set up your"1st Date" again.

AND...the MOST important part, the secret andthe part nobody else will tell ya :-)...is the date HAS to be EMOTIONALLY CHARGED. Okay? That DOES NOT mean 'dinner and a movie'. because...well...it's BORING...and does not create a bonding...or in our case a RE-bonding experience.

In fact, you want to pack in several emotionallycharged mini-dates in a span of a couple hours. Why? If you just do 'dinner and a movie' you loseout on a Sociologically PROVEN principle... emotionally charged experiences = bond Look at it in another way. Last time you went to the bank, do youremember the person in line in front of you? Behind you? Probably not. Me either.

But... What if while you were in the bank, itwas ROBBED AT GUNPOINT? and the robbers couldn't get the safe open. Therobbers are livid, screaming and waving huge gunsaround. The tension feels so thick you couldcut through it with a knife. You are lying face down on the cold bank floorand can see your breath fogging up the tile below. You are trembling...because it is eerily silentfor a moment.
"Oh my god!"
"Where are the robbers?"
"Are they behind me?"
"Are they watching me?"

So you slowly move your eyes around andsee a sweet older lady lying right next to you. She looks a little like Grandma, and you comeout of your own haze enough to realize that sheis even more terrified than you. She is softly sobbing. You slowly reach out and take her hand in yoursand give her a little squeeze that says..."it's gonna be all right." NOW! Let me ask? Are you going to EVER forget that older lady? and... Do you think she will EVER forget you? Not in a million Sundays!

Now...I'm not saying to go rob a bank onyour first date! LOL. But you want to go on an EMOTIONALLYcharged and exciting date...and preferably severalmini-dates in a span of a couple hours. A short roller coaster ride is one GREAT example.

T Dub teaches you more about things like emotionallycharged dates in the Magic Of Making Up System.

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You'll also discover psychological tactics and techniquesyou can use to get you BACK on that first date with yourex again.

Best Wishes,

Dave

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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You

If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there? In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on… First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world? Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about. Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money. Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you. For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain? Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin? You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you. There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it. Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work.

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How to Get My Ex Boyfriend Back Without Driving Him Away

Did something go wrong between you and your boyfriend, causing one or both of you to flee? If you were well on your way to creating a happy relationship and somehow managed to fall off the track, don't worry! It is possible to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back with the right steps and a basic understanding of where to go from here. First, you are going to want to ask yourself four vital questions. These are really important questions when it comes to figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back. - Is the matter that caused the breakup actually important enough to warrant the attention it is getting? - Is it even really appropriate to argue about this matter right now? - Can anything be changed or made different by prevailing in the argument or is it more worthwhile to just nip the argument in the bud and move on? - Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place? If you answer no to any of the aforementioned questions, then stop pressing the matter and let it slide. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled if a large argument is settled. Surprisingly enough, many breakup inducing argument are really completely unnecessary, and could be cast aside if only the parties involved could let the tension slide and move on. The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop fretting so hard about how you are being perceived. It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. You want to let go on these concerns so that you can finally be yourself and let your behavior flow. This way, people like your ex boyfriend will perceive you for who you actually are, rather than who you are trying to be. Emotionally and mentally distancing yourself from your ex is an important step in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calmed and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, this is when true resolution can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. It's important to stay in contact and maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to survive the conversation. Once your head is clear, and his head is clear, this is when the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate through a solution. Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through, so this should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you care significantly for. These are just the beginning steps in how to win your ex boyfriend back without driving him away. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to

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And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Advice on Relationships How to Keep a Woman Happy

Do you know how to keep a woman happy?

Here is some advice on relationships for men. The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks. Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships. This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her. Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around. You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing. The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million. Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can unland her just as easily. She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort. You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side. The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy. So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a way to find very common-sense suggestions on this matter. You might want to check it out for yourself:

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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

How to Get My Ex Back When He Has Moved On

Have you lost your boyfriend, and are now asking for help on "how to get my ex back when he's moved on'? This is often the hardest part of making up. But don't despair. What you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some quick and simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and no longer appears to be interested in associating with you. 1 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on. 2 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again. 3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process. 4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you. 5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs. 6 - Any time that you know he is looking at you, or if you feel like he is looking at you, look at him out of the corner of your eye. This sidelong glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but in a mysterious "you can't have me" kind of way. 7 - Casually remind him of some of the best times that you have had together. These good memories will help him to remember how good the two of you used to be together. Don't bring up any bad memories, because it will only hurt his bad side, which will not do you any good. These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps. The rest can be found at:

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Thursday, July 2, 2009

How Can I Get My Ex Back With a Confident Attitude

Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. I say go for it. Don't give up too easily.
If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever. It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts believe that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way. This is true in general. I realize sometimes confidence is hard to maintain, but you'll never get anywhere without it.
Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?" Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation, and also that you are capable of surviving on your own as well. Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go of. This is one of the best ways to let your ex notice you in a new light. Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine, and do not need to beg for his or her sympathy. You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all. In all, you have to be in control of yourself. Living well is the best get-back.