Restoring Trust in Relationships Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair

How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. This article is about restoring trust in relationships. Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple. If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease. What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming? You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship. Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling. But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems. The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things. One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship. Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her. This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding. Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair. Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.

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Relationship Quotes for Your Enjoyment

Sometimes the best way to say something is the way someone more literary than you has said it. In that vein, here are some relationship quotes of note:

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." -Oprah Winfrey

"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take." -Anthony Robbins

"Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same." -Flavia Weedn

"The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that's why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they've really done is they've shifted their relationship with time." – Caroline Myss

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." – Mark Twain

"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with" ~ Gillian Anderson

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." – Aristotle

"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." – Helen Keller

"Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found." – Winston Churchill

"It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations." – Kahlin Gibran

"To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person." – Eric Fromm

"Man is a knot into which relationships are tied." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete." ~ Keith Sweat

"Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others." ~ Stephen R. Covey

"Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made - like bread, remade all the time, made new." – Ursula LeGuin

"Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's really no fun lying to 'em anymore." -Norm from Cheers

There’s a broad collection of relationship quotes for you!

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Relationship Advice for Men Look at Evolution to Find a Mate

What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul? Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want. How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose. Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money. Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men. The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children. Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon. Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies. A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children. But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry. It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children. Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek. So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.

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Ending a Relationship Breaking Up is Hard To Do

Does your to-do list look something like this: · Walk dog · Water plants · Break up with significant other Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do. Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window. Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.” How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt? You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them. Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together. Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion. Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs. Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back. Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time. But don’t let them make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you. Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?” That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple. However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

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Robbed At Gunpoint

Is there something you can learn by being robbed at gunpoint?

As TW Jackson explains in the Magic Of Making Up System

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after your initial contact...you want to set up your"1st Date" again.

AND...the MOST important part, the secret andthe part nobody else will tell ya :-)...is the date HAS to be EMOTIONALLY CHARGED. Okay? That DOES NOT mean 'dinner and a movie'. because...well...it's BORING...and does not create a bonding...or in our case a RE-bonding experience.

In fact, you want to pack in several emotionallycharged mini-dates in a span of a couple hours. Why? If you just do 'dinner and a movie' you loseout on a Sociologically PROVEN principle... emotionally charged experiences = bond Look at it in another way. Last time you went to the bank, do youremember the person in line in front of you? Behind you? Probably not. Me either.

But... What if while you were in the bank, itwas ROBBED AT GUNPOINT? and the robbers couldn't get the safe open. Therobbers are livid, screaming and waving huge gunsaround. The tension feels so thick you couldcut through it with a knife. You are lying face down on the cold bank floorand can see your breath fogging up the tile below. You are trembling...because it is eerily silentfor a moment.
"Oh my god!"
"Where are the robbers?"
"Are they behind me?"
"Are they watching me?"

So you slowly move your eyes around andsee a sweet older lady lying right next to you. She looks a little like Grandma, and you comeout of your own haze enough to realize that sheis even more terrified than you. She is softly sobbing. You slowly reach out and take her hand in yoursand give her a little squeeze that says..."it's gonna be all right." NOW! Let me ask? Are you going to EVER forget that older lady? and... Do you think she will EVER forget you? Not in a million Sundays!

Now...I'm not saying to go rob a bank onyour first date! LOL. But you want to go on an EMOTIONALLYcharged and exciting date...and preferably severalmini-dates in a span of a couple hours. A short roller coaster ride is one GREAT example.

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Best Wishes,

Dave

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Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You

If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there? In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on… First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world? Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about. Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money. Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you. For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain? Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin? You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you. There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it. Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work.

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How to Get My Ex Boyfriend Back Without Driving Him Away

Did something go wrong between you and your boyfriend, causing one or both of you to flee? If you were well on your way to creating a happy relationship and somehow managed to fall off the track, don't worry! It is possible to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back with the right steps and a basic understanding of where to go from here. First, you are going to want to ask yourself four vital questions. These are really important questions when it comes to figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back. - Is the matter that caused the breakup actually important enough to warrant the attention it is getting? - Is it even really appropriate to argue about this matter right now? - Can anything be changed or made different by prevailing in the argument or is it more worthwhile to just nip the argument in the bud and move on? - Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place? If you answer no to any of the aforementioned questions, then stop pressing the matter and let it slide. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled if a large argument is settled. Surprisingly enough, many breakup inducing argument are really completely unnecessary, and could be cast aside if only the parties involved could let the tension slide and move on. The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop fretting so hard about how you are being perceived. It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. You want to let go on these concerns so that you can finally be yourself and let your behavior flow. This way, people like your ex boyfriend will perceive you for who you actually are, rather than who you are trying to be. Emotionally and mentally distancing yourself from your ex is an important step in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calmed and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, this is when true resolution can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. It's important to stay in contact and maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to survive the conversation. Once your head is clear, and his head is clear, this is when the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate through a solution. Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through, so this should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you care significantly for. These are just the beginning steps in how to win your ex boyfriend back without driving him away. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to

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And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Advice on Relationships How to Keep a Woman Happy

Do you know how to keep a woman happy?

Here is some advice on relationships for men. The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks. Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships. This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her. Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around. You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing. The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million. Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can unland her just as easily. She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort. You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side. The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy. So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a way to find very common-sense suggestions on this matter. You might want to check it out for yourself:

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How to Get My Ex Back When He Has Moved On

Have you lost your boyfriend, and are now asking for help on "how to get my ex back when he's moved on'? This is often the hardest part of making up. But don't despair. What you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some quick and simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and no longer appears to be interested in associating with you. 1 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on. 2 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again. 3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process. 4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you. 5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs. 6 - Any time that you know he is looking at you, or if you feel like he is looking at you, look at him out of the corner of your eye. This sidelong glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but in a mysterious "you can't have me" kind of way. 7 - Casually remind him of some of the best times that you have had together. These good memories will help him to remember how good the two of you used to be together. Don't bring up any bad memories, because it will only hurt his bad side, which will not do you any good. These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps. The rest can be found at:

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How Can I Get My Ex Back With a Confident Attitude

Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. I say go for it. Don't give up too easily.
If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever. It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts believe that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way. This is true in general. I realize sometimes confidence is hard to maintain, but you'll never get anywhere without it.
Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?" Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation, and also that you are capable of surviving on your own as well. Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go of. This is one of the best ways to let your ex notice you in a new light. Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine, and do not need to beg for his or her sympathy. You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all. In all, you have to be in control of yourself. Living well is the best get-back.

How to get an Ex back

Are you wondering how to go get an ex back? Almost nearly every adult as experienced some kind of a break up, and most just work on moving on rather than looking for a way to get an ex back. You're not alone. These decisions can be tough.
But if you are over playing the victim and want to put some work in to get an ex back, then there are options for you. Everyone deals with breakup, but does break up simply mean that you cannot get back together with your ex? I hate to see any romance die. The fact is, 90 percent of the time there is no reason why you cannot get an ex back after a break up, providing that you know what steps are necessary to win your ex back. The first step in learning how to get an ex back is to determine what exactly happened that caused the break up. Even though you cannot go back into the past, and you cannot change what happened, you can learn from the mistakes that were made and you can try to learn and grow from the experiences. That's the key. No tricks, no magic words, just life lessons. The break up may have occurred because of a single event, or it may have occurred from behaviors that your ex could not deal with anymore. No matter what the reason was that led to the breakup, you need to get the specifics figured out so that you can deal with the situation if it should never come up again. You can get an ex back if you know how, but if you want to make it work on a long term basis, you need to figure out what went wrong in the first place. That is the crucial first step. If you can't take the first step, then there's nothing you can do.
The next step in the process is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy person. Everyone will feel like they cannot live without their ex, but there is no point in making this obvious. Instead, you should stay strong, and let your ex see that you are doing just fine by yourself. If you let everyone around you see your comfort and self confidence, then you will have a better chance of getting back together with your ex. They say living well is the best revenge, and it is certainly true. you have to make it seem like you don't really need them anymore. Don't overdo it, though. Trying to get back at your ex, or trying to make your ex jealous is not a good way to operate. In fact, these are some of the worst things that you can possibly do, because it will show your ex that he or she should simply move on because you already have. While you do want your ex to see that you're doing ok, you do not want it to inspire him or her to completely move on if your ideal scenario is to get back together. Let your ex see how strong and self confident you are, and they will feel inspired to get back together with you.

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Does My Ex Want To Get Back With Me How To Tell

So far, we've looked at ways to start the ball toward getting your ex back, regardless of sex. But let's not jump the gun. It's vital that you spot the signs as to whether or not your ex is truly interested in getting back with you. What are they?

If your ex is showing you a little bit of interest, or seems more interested in going out and spending time with you than before, or if you notice signs that your ex is trying to flirt with you, then it's okay to be a little hopeful but don't plow straight ahead without looking. Play it smart. Are you asking yourself "does my ex want to get back with me"? These are definitely very common signs that your ex is interested in getting you back. But even if you want to get back with your ex, you should not simply jump into things. The best way to play things is to play hard to get (in moderation), which is probably what your ex will best respond to anyway. If you simply jump into things full force, then you may find it to backfire. If you push, you have to expect the other person to push back. In fact, if your ex is giving indications that he or she wants you back, then the odds are, it was you playing hard to get that led to the renewed interest in the first place. Usually when you break up with your ex, or he or she breaks up with you, there is a natural level of missing one another, or longing to get back together. This is especially true following a relationship of a year or longer. Your ex is probably going to miss you no matter what, because of how many memories were shared together during this period of time. But there are other emotions that come into play including past regrets. If you are wondering "does my ex want to get back with me" the odds are that your ex may be thinking the same thing for the same reasons. Sometimes when an ex shows interest again following a break up however, it is only a game. They may see that you love them, and they may simply be trying to get attention, without actually intending to get you back. And that's the trick. That's what you really have to be on the lookout for. And you have to be subtle about it. Most of all, don't go into it suspecting the worst motives. So, unless your ex really seems genuinely interested in spending time with you, they may just be passing the time because they have no other prospects on the horizon. And worst of all they may see this as away to get revenge for some perceived wrong. This is why it is important not to jump the gun, and why you should focus on reading into the situation before you act on it. This is common, and a lot of people find themselves wondering "does my ex want to get back with me?", but the truth is, its better to get a feel for the situation before you act. In reality, if your ex does want to get back with you, playing hard to get (in moderation) is the best scenario because it will prevent you from getting hurt if your ex is not really serious about getting back with you.

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What Can I do To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

Yesterday I gave out advice for how women could get back with their boyfriends. Well, I'm not about to leave the unlucky guys out either. Most people find themselves asking "What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" following a breakup. They begin to start thinking and philosophizing about everything that could have been done differently. They even begin to make plans about apology letters and other things that might be able to help them score their relationship back. This tends to be a dead end for one reason above all else: Because you can never really tell what the real reasons were behind a breakup. Women become emotional and sometimes they do not even know what led to the break up at hand and they may not know what is making them feel the way they do. In many circumstances it is only harmful to lose all your energy trying to figure out what went wrong. The first main strategy to answer the question about "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" is to forget about the relationship for a while, putting your energy into something else. Go out, make friends, have fun, network, and forget about women in general. Set some realistic goals about expanding your repertoire when it comes to seduction and meeting people. Give yourself a couple of months and make changes in your life. Take some time away from your ex and it will work wonders. The effect that strategies like this will have, is that it will allow you to make gradual changes in your life. Don't expect it to happen all at once. Take it a little bit at a time. Once you've done that, you will most likely have a much better handle on what needs to be done. Moreover, it will give you an idea of where to take it. Do you still want to get back together with her? Or are you ready to move on? Act accordingly. If you're still interested in her, then you are truly a good, dedicated guy. Now is your chance to be a little more direct when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back. You need to play strategically, however. Do not simply beg her to get back with you, because this is not a good time to be emotional. Instead, what you should be doing is playing things cool with your ex. If you have spent enough time apart from her, she is probably missing you as badly as you are missing her. Play hard to get a little, but only a little. Don't overdo it. That way, she will see that you are getting on just fine without her, while she is still miserable. And if getting back together with your ex really is meant to be, now is the time when it will become clear. You should also trust your instincts. Don't analyze things too much, because over analyzing may prevent you from acting the right way when trying to figure out "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back". Just take things slow and play them cool and you should be fine.

If you found this suggestion helpful, be aware that this is only the tip of the iceberg. Not every person is the same. That's why Magic of Making Up contains numerous means of healing relationships. If you are interested in finding out, just visit

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What Can I Do To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

Are you feeling like everything you do pushes your ex away further? Is this describing your situation to a tee? Are you asking "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back" at every turn? Here are some tips that will greatly improve your chances of getting back together with your ex boyfriend. Obviously right now you are serious about saving or rekindling your relationship, which is what led you to here.

But if you are feeling overly anxious to get your ex back, you may be behaving in the wrong way, causing your ex to pull away naturally. It is human nature in general to resist this kind of pressure. Struggling against human nature is completely pointless, and it will only make matters worse. Are you calling your ex too much, constantly writing him e-mails or text messaging him? Are you trying to make him feel sorry for you? If you are doing these things, stop! Follow this strategy instead. You are going to need to take a completely fresh approach. Begin by breaking contact off for a while, doing your own thing. During this time where there is no communication between you and your ex boyfriend, you can focus on ways that you can improve your own personal life, rather than focusing on the relationship issues at hand. This is going to be a challenging time, and it is going to require discipline to prevent you from returning to your old ways. During this time, your ex is going to experience a shift in how he feels about you, since you will no longer be pursuing him. You may become mysterious to him in some ways, because he is not sure what you are doing or feeling. This is actually something that can work in your favor. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. Now your ex is in a position to actually miss you, which is not possible when you are smothering him. You have to remember that the key to this strategy and repairing a break up is to work with human nature rather than attempting to work against it. If you are wondering " What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back", now you should have a fairly basic understanding on how common mistakes can be avoided. Once you implement this basic strategy you can restore a balance and allow your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place. Just keep yourself grounded and avoid smothering him. Make yourself appear mysterious and he will be reminded why he loved you in the first place. Play hard to get (don't over do it) and let him make the first move, and you will come out on top. And then you will stop asking "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back"

But this is only a small part of the plan, as important as it is. There is so much more to do once you've made that important first step. And I won't leave you hanging. You can have it all, all of the secrets besides this one to get your relationship back on solid ground where it belongs, because I hate to see any romance disintegrate.

Check out http://www.howtogetmyexbacknow.info

I want to help you.

Advice on Breaking Up

There are few things in this world better than love. Romance has probably inspired more people to do more things than anything else.

Sadly, for many of us, there come those times when it ends. That goes for everyone. Breakups, separations, divorces.
When it happens, we often feel lost. We don't know what to do. Sometimes it leads to destructive behavior Most of us push on in life, but how often do we really have an idea of how to do it?

Sometimes people turn to others for help. That's often a good idea. Different people have different methods, but if it works, most people don't care why. And that's the key. You don't have to flail in the dark. If it will save you pain and anguish, why not give it a try, right?

Most people don't want to call off relationships. Sometimes all they want is to be heard and they think that threatening to end it will snap that other person into reality. Sometimes it's the simplest things that get overlooked.

A while ago, I was faced with a problem. My brother's marriage seemed to be ending. He and my sister-in-law seemed to be at an impasse. Neither one really wanted to break it off, but neither one felt they were at fault.

I like helping people. That goes for relatives, friends and even strangers. Making people happy makes me happy. So, I abandoned my previous vow not to get involved. I didn't want this to happen. So I did what anyone who cared would do. I tried to fix it. I realized that I was not in much of a position to give advice on broken hearts, so my first priority was to stop the break up before it happened. Even then, I knew I was over my head. So what could I do? Where could I go to get advice on relationships?

After a while of searching for an answer, I found one:

http://www.howtogetmyexbacknow.info

In it I found invaluable tips on ways to get boyfriends back, ways to get girlfriends back, ways to save marriages, end abusive relationships, ways to get over a breakup, what to do on the rebound, and so much else.

Secretly, I introduced both of them to the website. After a while, I could tell they were on the road to recovery. They even took a second honeymoon. And they're still together to this day. Seeing that made me the happiest guy I knew, besides him.

I understand that not everyone feels like burdening someone else with their problems. But sometimes we have to turn to someone who can help us. If it works, all the better.

So, if you want some help improving your relationship, preventing a breakup, making up, giving it another try, finding new love, fixing current relationships or coping with heartbreak, do yourself a favor and check out the site.

http://www.howtogetmyexbacknow.info/

The results are undeniable. If it worked for my brother and sister-in-law, it can work for anyone.

All 36 Chambers

Hi, all. Today I'd like to branch out by reviewing one of my favorites movies, "The 36th Chamber of Shaolin."

For those of you not familiar with it, it's a kung-fu movie, and in my opinion one of the best. The film's vital statistics are:

119 minutes long
Released in 1978 by Shaw Brothers Studios based out of Hong Kong, China.

The film was directed by one of the all time greats, Lau Kar-leung (Liu Chia-liang in Mandarin), who helmed such seminal kung fu works as:

"Legendary Weapons of China" (aka "Legendary Weapons of Kung Fu")

"Mad Monkey Kung Fu"

"My Young Auntie"

"Eight-Diagram Pole Fighter"

and "Heroes of the East," just to name a few.
He also acted in many of his films, and choreographed the action for all of them. He started choreographing fight scenes for his mentor, the great Chang Cheh (who also broke John Woo into the film business), including "The One-Armed Swordsman."

The Lau family are known as real kung-fu experts, specifically the Hung Gar style. After Bruce Lee's untimely death, Hong Kong was at a loss for a new kind of cinematic action. Lau Kar-leung suggested "why not show classical kung fu as it really is?" It's sounds so obvious, but that was a pretty radical viewpoint back then, especially when you had Chang Cheh still doing his "Crippled fighter/ultra-gory/mystical fighting" movies (which I highly recommend).

"The 36th Chamber of Shaolin" represents Lau's devotion to this viewpoint in its most pure form, stripping away all mysticism (or nearly all) and giving us a "Rocky"-style training movie. '36th Chamber" is also notable in this regard for its single-minded focus on the hero and his journey, with few side characters and no love story attempt (although Lau was known for these as well).

The film opens with the star, Lau Kar-fai (Liu Chia-hui), better known as Gordon Liu (he also starred in the "Kill Bill" movies), in a completely unrelated film segment, demonstrating various kung fu routines, first with his fists, then with the staff and monk's spade. Then we cut to the movie itself, as this is merely a taste of what is to come.

The story basics are that, in the wake of the Manchu conquest of China, the Manchu empire (the Ching Dynasty) has almost completely conquered the Han Chinese and wages a campaign of brutal tyranny to cow any future rebellion. We are introduced to our villains. The biggest one is General Tien Da, played by Hong Kong action icon Lo Lieh. (Lo Lieh played the White Lotus priest Pai Mei for Lau Kar-leung once, in "Executioners from Shaolin" and again in the remake he directed, "Clan of the White Lotus.") His adjutants are played by Wilson Tong and John Chang.
During a military parade, the Manchu genera; is attacked by General Yin, a leader in the Han rebellion. Yin is played by Lau Kar-leung's brother, Lau Kar-wing (Liu Chia-yung), an actor, choreographer, director and kung fu expert in his own right. I should point out that even though Gordon Liu shares the same name, he is not Lau Kar-leung's brother. He is an adopted brother to the family. The parade is a trap, and Yin is forced into combat with the deadly General Tien Da. Many of Lau Kar-leung's films utilize the 18 kung fu weapons, and this is no exception. General Tien wields two Chinese sabers, while Yin swings a mighty double ax. This is the first of several big fights in the film, and in my opinion, one of the best in film, period. Yin fights bravely, but is eventually overcome and killed. The way Lau cuts the scene together gives the sequence an extra level of intensity, as though lives were really on the line.

At this point, we are introduced to our hero, Gordon Liu, in the context of the film. (Gordon shaved his head to play ths role, so he wears a wig for these early scenes.) As the young son of a well-to-do merchant, he's not really the kind of person you would expect to rise up against a military dictatorship. But after hearing his teacher, a man he highly respects, speak about the injustices of Manchu rule, and after seeing the public spectacle of Yin's body, he decides to join the rebels. He and his classmates join up, but are found out and killed. Gordon's family pays the price as well. Gordon escapes and comes to the temple of Shaolin, where the monks are said to teach kung fu. Gordon becomes a monk and adopts the name San Da (Three Virtues).

His training begins. The training sequences take up half of the film, and are legendary for their cinematic power. There are 35 chambers in Shaolin to train in kung fu. San Da quickly masters them, learning speed, balance, arm strength, leg strength, wrist strength, sharpness of eyesight, the saber, the staff, and after several years, he is made a chamber master, over the objections of the Justice monk. The Justice monk is played by veteran bad guy actor Lee Hoi-san, who played bad guys for Sammo Hung in "The Magnificent Butcher" and John Woo in "Last Hurrah for Chivalry." He had opposed allowing San Da to enter Shaolin and challenges San Da to a fight to prove his worth. San Da agrees, and the second big fight sequence begins. The Justice monk's weapons of choice are the butterfly swords, while San Da uses a staff. The Justice monk wins easily. San Da tries again, using the monk's spade (a staff with moon-shaped blades), but loses again. While practicing, he cuts down a stalk of bamboo into three pieces and invents the three-section staff: three lengths of pole joined by chains. (This was a favorite weapon of Lau Kar-leung.) The other monks have never seen anything like it before, and the Justice monk is soundly defeated.

When given the opportunity to take charge of any chamber, San Da expresses a desire to create a 36th chamber to teach kung fu to laymen. This is an extreme deviation from Shaolin policy, and San Da is punished by having to leave the temple to collect donations. Wandering about the country, he recruits several followers. The first is Hung Hsi-kuan (the supposed inventor of Hung Gar kung fu) who is being bullied by Wilson Tong. Tong's men are quickly beaten by San Da, and Tong is killed by Hung Hsi-kuan. Next is Tung Chian-jin (whom Gordon Liu played in "Executioners from Shaolin"), a blacksmith who uses San Da's teachings to thrash a bullying Manchu guard. After that, a bamboo cutter named Lu Ah-sai is recruited, but only after he sees what a fighting machine San Da is. Finally, San Da recruits Miller Six, played by Wang Yu. A simple rice-grinder, Miller Six possesses great leg strength, and a hefty supply of blinding dust. At the film's finale, San Da's forces rout General Tien's personal guard, and Tien is left alone to battle San Da. I won't spoil how it ends for you, but suffice to say that the final fight sequence is extremely memorable for it frenetic energy. In all, the end is not that important. As the wise man once said, it is the journey that matters, and Lau Kar-leung seems to believe that.

After the film's release, Gordon Liu became an instant star. This did not happen overnight. He had already acted for Lau Kar-leung in "Challenge of the Masters" and "Executioners from Shaolin." But "36th Chamber" was his star-making role. Gordon still tells about the press conference he held in Japan, where Shaw Brothers star Yasuaki Kurata, a Japanese martial artist, was his translator. When the film was released in the West, it was given the title "Master Killer." This is very much a misnomer, since he does not go around killing, but Gordon Liu is still known as "Master Killer" today. I first saw this film under the "Master Killer" title as a young boy on television. It wasn't exactly great film then. The print was choppy and faded, the image was cropped from its widescreen base, the English dubbing was uninspired (yet oddly accurate), and it was slightly edited for violence. While not nearly as violent as Chang Cheh's movies (or many American PG-rated films, for that matter), it still got an "R" rating. The only real edit for violence was Hung Hsi-kuan's killing of Wilson Tong's character. Even though you still saw Tong die, he was only struck with a saber once. In the Hong Kong version, he was chopped many times, but even then we the audience heard it rather than seeing it. (Gordon turns away and prays to the Buddha.) According to Hong Kong film expert Bey Logan, in England the entire role of General Yin was cut, robbing British audiences of the first big fight.

Despite all of these flaws, I was spell-bound by the film. I would rent it and watch it again and again. I also started to research the history behind the film. The Shaolin Temples of China really exist, and they were the birthplace of kung fu. That always struck me as odd, that Buddhist monks, the ultimate pacifists, should invent a fighting art that allows practicioners to kill with their bare hands. During the unrest in Burma in 2007, I also found out that the yellow robes and red sashes worn by the monks in "36th Chamber" really are worn by Buddhist monks.

In 2001, I came across a DVD version of the film, "Shaolin Master Killer." It was advertised as the uncut version of "Master Killer." I bought it and watched it. All of the excised scenes were back in and the film print was widescreen. Even though it was still the choppy, faded, English-dubbed print, it was still even better than my childhood memories. It was around this time that I started finding out more about the film, such as its real title. DVDs of the Chinese original were only available in the East, and nothing seemed planned. All of that changed in 2007. Thanks in large part to Quentin Tarantino and Bey Logan, the original "36th Chamber of Shaolin" was made available by Dragon Dynasty. It is an uncut, widescreen print, with three language tracks: the original Cantonese, the widely-distributed Mandarin, and the English dub. It also includes an audio commentary track by two die-hard fans: Andy Klein of "City Beat" and the RZA from the Wu-Tang Clan (surprisingly well-informed about kung fu movies), as well as interviews with Gordon Liu, Klein, RZA and David Chute, a brief history of Shaolin (hosted by Gordon Liu), and trailers for several Lau Kar-leung films, including (but not limited to) "Shaolin Mantis," "Legendary Weapons of China," "Eight-Diagram Pole Fighter," and the two sequels to "36th Chamber:" "Return to the 36th Chamber," and "Disciples of the 36th Chamber."

If you are interested in this film, it is widely available through Amazon.com and many other outlets.

If you liked this essay, please write me.

And if you would be so kind, please take advantage of the many excellent products I have to offer, including my recently-added Green Tea extract, which can allow you the reader to get Shaolin-fit!

Bye for now!

Congratulations!

You found your way here.

I'm Dave, the guy who keeps this place running. I'm your tour guide through the perilous pixel pathways of the digital world. Whether it be recommendations on certain video games, TV models, and entertainment packages.

On a personal note, I'm also a huge fan of many different entertainment forms; fantasy, sci-fi, horror, and so on, and can answer any questions you might have there for entertainment purposes. So let's get started, okay?

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